The story is quite sweet, and I enjoyed it. A little editing could have helped with some minor issues like word repetition and punctuation.
My main complaint with the artwork is that it’s often copy/pasted from one page to the next. Rather than creating original artwork for each page, key elements (i.e. the main characters in the story) have just been duplicated in the same pose – though occasionally flipped.
Unfortunately, on some pages the layout places black text over a dark/busy background, making it rather difficult to read.
While the cover artwork is bright and colorful, the text is completely illegible. It doesn’t matter how you choose to publish your work – you simply cannot skimp on cover design. Proper text treatment goes a loooooooooong way toward a professional, polished product.